THE TRUTH & the lies
the Truth & the lies
I love to play a game called three truths and a lie. Each person tells four facts about themselves - three facts are true and one is a lie, in any order you want. When you are not the one telling the facts, your role is to guess which fact is indeed the lie. It’s a ton of fun. It is hard to tell which fact is the lie, even when you know the person. It’s also a great way to get to know someone as everyone loves a chance to fool others. I have played this silly game at social gatherings as an ice breaker, with children during Sunday School and with our own kids on long car trips. The last time I played this was with my employees at the start of one of our monthly meeting for a bit of levity. I stated the following four facts about myself – they stumped everyone. Can you spot my lie?
1) I met President Bush on his campaign tour.
2) I started playing tennis at the age of 7
3) I smuggled a person across the Polish border
4) At 16 I had a regular spot on a weekly TV show
If you are a regular Word Washed Wife reader, you know right off the bat the two obvious truths - #2 and #3. The other two aren’t so easy. Lies are sometimes tricky to detect. Keep reading, and I’ll tell you which one is the lie. But let’s camp out on the concept of lying and the need for truth in marriage.
Lies hold a common place in life today. If you don’t think so, watch any 24-hour news network, or listen to a politician speak for more than 5 minutes. They know just how to phrase something to convince you that it is true to keep up their ad sells, viewership and voting numbers up. Parents lie. Tooth fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa. Enough said. Young children lie. Kids learn to lie as soon as they are old enough to understand that consequences for actions exist. “I don’t know who wrote Katie on the TV screen with a magnet!” This actually happened to my older brother’s TV by his daughter, Katie, then age four. SIDEBAR: it ruined his TV! Keep magnets away from the TV … my free public service announcement. But I digress.
Lying is part of our basic sinful nature. We have all done it. Employees sometimes lie as they call out of work sick - cough, cough! And who hasn’t said when being pulled over by a gruff State Trooper for driving too fast on the interstate, “No, I didn’t realize I was driving 86 miles an hour, Officer.” Lies also happen in marriage. Husbands will, smartly, tell a white lie when they respond to the classic question, “Does this make me look fat?” And, there is the wife’s over-used lie of convenience, “I have a headache.” 😊 Everyone has told a lie at some point. Well, everyone but God.
God is the embodiment of truth. He cannot lie! “Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him (Proverbs 30:5).” God is synonymous with truth! So is His son, our Savior and Lord, Jesus (John 14:6). When we listen to statements made about marriage, let’s be careful to listen to the Godly truths, and not the common and worldly lies.
Let me explain, Satan loves to tell lies to Believers. Sometimes, it is hard for Believers to spot the lie, especially when it hits at our insecurity, or the soft sensitive underbelly we all have and hide. In marriage, Satan says to us: “Your marriage won’t last.” “Everyone cheats.” “If your parent’s marriage didn’t make it, you’re a fool to think yours will.” “Your marriage is too hard, get out while you can - you deserve better.” These are all lies that I have heard when I talk with people about the state of their marriage. But, all these lies fail to acknowledge the power of God’s love and the healing power of the Gospel!
An especially devastating tactic Satan uses is to convince the Believer that he or she is the only person facing an issue in their marriage. He does this to keep the Believer buried in shame and away from other Christians. I guarantee this: You are never alone! There is no new sin or problem in marriage. God is the answer to every problem that you may face. Confess your fears and allow God’s peace to flood your heart and take away your anxiety. Talk to a married Believer who lives out the love of Christ and receive wise counsel! Don’t let Satan keep you isolated. Believe the truth: “LOVE CAN COVER A MULTITUDE OF SIN (1 Peter 4:8).”
Truth is important. We must have truth in marriage if God is going to use our marriage for our sanctification and to grow us up in the faith. Ephesians 4:15 states, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him who is the head, that is Christ.” This Scripture offers us two keys to a successful relationship: Truth and Love. When a marriage is deep in love, but shallow on truth, it will not work. Living in this kind of a marriage is like living in fairy tale and eventually waking up to realize that the Emperor has no clothes. This kind of a marriage occurs when one or both spouses are afraid of conflict. In an effort to avoid the truth, the couple covers up conflict and pretends that all is well. This is a shaky way to live. It cannot be sustained. And when the truth is finally known, it is doubly painful because lying always magnifies the hurt.
In contrast, consider the couple that is brutally honest and hold back nothing. The couple “tells it like it is” all day long. The couple lives truth without love. In this kind of marriage, truth becomes too painful to bear. The marriage eventually withers. But in an environment of pure Godly love, the couple can handle truth with repentance and forgiveness and in the embrace of grace! In this environment, God can gently use a spouse to expose the parts of the other spouse’s heart and life that still need redeeming. In this environment, God can gently use your spouse to expose the parts of your heart and life that still need redeeming and sweetly hold your hand as God’s healing power does its work. I believe this is God’s original intent when He designed marriage. Give some thought to that truth, friend.
Thank you for reading my post each week. I pray that you are encouraged to pursue Christ in your marriage through truth and love!
Now for the lie… it was #1 - I’ve never met President Bush. #4 was true. I was an interpreter for the deaf for my church’s weekly broadcast for a couple of years on a local TV station before I left for college, so I was a regular part of a weekly TV show 😊. And for the record, I met President Carter in the White House Rose garden through the Girl’s Nation program the summer of 1980.
Let me know if I stumped you below in the comments! Keep reading.
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
1 John 3:18
Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies.