7 Truths About Marriage: that are better than a DATE NIGHT
I wonder sometimes how crazy sayings gets started. You know what I’m talking about … phrases that we gobble up and believe but have no real truth. Have you ever heard this one – “If you sit on the cold floor you will get sick.” I have heard this my entire life! In the rehab hospital where I worked, every time I knelt down on the floor alongside a senior citizen in a wheelchair, the patient would say to me, “Get up sweetie before you catch your death of cold.” Out of respect I would get up. But, the truth is that sitting on a clean floor, no matter how cold, cannot give you a cold 😊. You can, however, catch a cold by coming in contact with germs transmitted in airborne droplets from another person’s cough or sneeze. So, how did that crazy “get off the cold floor” saying get started? My guess is that someone’s sweet Granny said it, and out of respect it was repeated. Eventually it stuck!
Here are some things we hear about marriage today that are just as silly:
· “Marriage is easy if you marry the right person.” Nope! No right person exists, just a whole bunch of sinners! 😊
· “The first year of marriage is the hardest; the rest is downhill.” Not true, either statistically or in real life.
· “In marriage, you need to take care of yourself; let your spouse take care of their self too.” This is the opposite of a truth; this is a lie! It would not be a marriage, but rather a roommate arrangement.
· “You kids just need a DATE night- that will fix everything!” Keep reading as I unpack the truth and the lie of date night.
If you have ever been told by your Granny that the answer to your marriage problem is for you to have a “date night,” think again. This well-intentioned advice has some merit, but it, like the “get off the cold floor” saying, is probably not the sole answer to your problem. Often, marriage problems are quite complicated. Going out to dinner at a restaurant and then to a movie will not hurt, but this will likely not “fix” things. The truth is that the only way to be happy in your marriage is to rely on the Jesus and the power of His Holy Spirit! But sadly, this truth doesn’t always sell. A relationship with Jesus is NOT a “quick fix.” A relationship with Jesus needs cultivating and sacrificing of self. This is the same for the marriage relationship. Not understanding the dual needs for cultivation and self-sacrifice is probably why people experience problems in both relationships.
If the answer you are given for a problem in your marriage is not Jesus,
you have asked the wrong question, my friend.
By nature, we are sinful. We are selfish and self-serving creatures. Under our own steam we may be able to live selflessly for a little while motivated by infatuation, but eventually our steam runs out and we snap. When that happens, we demand our way and believe that we are being ill-treated if we don’t get our way. So, while a date night may afford you an opportunity to discuss a problem in your marriage, the evening will end with nothing changed if your discussion that night is not based on Biblical truths. You may return home with a full belly and a lighter wallet, but you will have gained nothing that will sustain your marriage. So, consider discussing these Biblical truths on your date night:
1. KEEP FIRST THINGS FIRST. “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: You shall love your neighbor (or your spouse) as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these (Mark 12:30-31).”
2. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRY. “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger (Ephesians 4:26).”
3. REPENT AND FORGIVE DAILY. “Lord, how often will my brother (spouse) sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as 7 times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times (Matthew 18:21-22).”
4. MAKE YOUR SPOUSE’S NEEDS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR OWN. “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourself (Philippians 2:3).”
5. ALLOW THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT TO ROCK YOUR MARRIAGE. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such there is no law (Galatians 5:22-23).”
6. KEEP NO RECORD OF WRONGS. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth (1 Corinthians 13: 4-6).”
7. A KIND WORD IS ALWAYS THE RIGHT RESPONSE. “A soft (Kind) answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1).”
So, if you have a hankering for a blooming onion, go out on that date night, but bring these Scripture verses so that you and your spouse can discuss truths that will not fail and discuss a plan to make them part of the fabric of your marriage! Then maybe Granny’s advice about that DATE NIGHT, with the addition of Jesus, will be more meaningful.
Keep reading, friends and stay washed in the Word.