All in Communication in Marriage
Ponder this: To a God who sees lust as adultery, and hatred as murder (Matthew 5:21-30), how do you believe He sees evil words and angry outbursts? I believe that God sees emotional abuse no less a sin than physical abuse. Both expose an ugly side of our heart – the side that is rebellious and must have its own way at all cost. Whenever we hold ourselves in higher regard than our spouse, we sin!
I'm good at my job. So by all accounts, I am a communication specialist. So I'm sure it came as a big surprise to my sweet husband that when we first married, I was really bad at communicating with him. Considering this early time in our marriage, you could compare Jody’s situation with someone who had just married a graduate from the Culinary Institute of America only to find out their new spouse couldn’t cook at home – their spouse could make delicious meals for strangers, but could hardly boil water in their own kitchen. You would want your money back, right?!
Learning to understand and then speak your spouse’s love language is a worthy endeavor. If you learn to speak the language of your spouse's heart fluently, your marriage will be benefited.
God knew that inside each man and woman there would live a struggle. This struggle would revolve around issues inside a man’s heart and in a women’s mind. God knew men would have little difficulty loving themselves and that women would desire to rule over their husband. I do not for a minute believe that either struggle was shocking to God. He created Adam and Eve and fellowshipped with them as they lived in the Garden of Eden.
As I think back to those months, I wish I had had someone to explain to me the hurt I inflicted on my spouse. But I had no one, and frankly, no one probably ever knew the struggle going on between Jody and I – it was truly a private war and fought by two exhausted soldiers! My independent behavior told Jody, my battle buddy and soul mate, that I didn't need him, and that I could not be trusted in the midst of the battle. Jody’s anger toward me told me that his love for me was conditional.
Listening to every word in directions is very important when building something. I know this from experience. The latest reminder occurred about three weeks ago. Jody and I took a week off from work to build a bar on our pool deck.
Our vows to God are what makes a marriage stick together during hard times.
Right before Sylvester Stalone starts landing blows on his opponent in each of the famous Rocky movies, a referee reminds him of the rules. The two menacing boxers stand toe to toe- drenched in sweat, boxing gloves on. The referee pulls down a microphone from the sky and starts explaining the rules. “We want a good clean fight, no sucker punches or blows below the waist, touch gloves, and when I say go to your corner, go there and stay there, and don’t come out until you hear the bell. May the best fighter win!” I have often thought that this referee would make a great wedding officiant. He could wed people and start them off on the right foot on how to fight fairly.
