Overwhelmed
Overwhelmed
-to cover or bury something beneath a mass of something, as floodwaters, debris or an avalanche:
-to load, treat, or address with an overpowering or excessive amount of anything.
Have you ever felt overwhelmed?
Yup.
Me too.
At this time of year, I frequently find myself feeling this way.
I can be overwhelmed with the pageantry, busyness, and splendor of the Christmas season.
But mostly, I am overwhelmed by the gift of Jesus. I can hardly drink in the magnitude of the truth of His love without feeling the weightiness of His sacrifice. I feel precious and unworthy at the exact same moment. It’s a strange collision of emotions. I don’t think I am alone in these feelings, so please indulge me in this quick 🎄 post.
OVERWHELMING LOVE
I remember our oldest son, JP’s first Christmas. It was one of those times filled with overwhelming emotions. We were over the top in love with our new little boy and couldn’t wait to share him with family back home. Jody, my husband and I, were living in Colorado at the time of JP’s birth. That first Christmas, we packed up our little Nissan and set off for an adventure. We drove for 2 days, with countless stops to change diapers and make bottles. But finally we made it home to spend the holiday with family. We were excited and nervous new parents.
When we arrived at my in-law’s house in Greensboro, North Carolina, my MIL proudly showed me the gifts they had bought JP, their first and only grandchild. She had warned that she had gone “slightly crazy” but I was unprepared for what I was to be shown. The closet was stacked to the ceiling with gifts of all sizes. The gifts could not be contained- they spilled out of the closet and into the living room and were scattered under the Christmas tree. It was a ridiculous mass of gifts. As I looked at the mountain of gifts, my tummy began to hurt. My knee jerk reaction was to push back… hard. I cried and begged my MIL, Granny, as my children would later call her, to take the gifts back. He was only nine months old. This was too much. He did not need an entire toy store. I felt as if we would drown under the weight of all of these presents.
Overwhelmed.
Undeserved.
I know my reaction crushed my sweet MIL. But I wouldn’t relent. I couldn’t wait to close the door on all those gifts- they made me feel guilty, selfish, materialistic and well, out of control. I apologized years later to Granny, but I fear the rejection she felt that day always remained, even in a small way, between us.
Why did I have such a reaction?
Why had her over the top love for my child left me feeling so uncomfortable?
I rationalized that it stemmed from my feeling of not being deserving of such demonstrative love or maybe I had an inflated sense of self that didn’t want to feel obligated in anyway. Maybe, I wanted to provide for my son with my husband, independent of others. I guess I wanted to be the one who gave such joy to my children- not watch it being done by others. Or maybe simply - I was just exhausted.
No matter what the reason, on that Christmas in 1989, I was unwilling to open my heart and receive the overwhelming love she offered.
I think this is how many of us may feel each Christmas with the gift of Jesus. Overwhelmed by the gift of a forever King! With the first proclamation of Jesus’s birth a sense of wonder begins building in our hearts. We read the Christmas story in Luke as angels announce Jesus’s coming and then proclaim His birth. The saints of old, shepherds, wise men, not to mention Mary and Joseph, were also overwhelmed. And as we read how Jesus, 100% God, gave up His identity, His home, His throne, His close communion with the Father and the Spirit to come to earth that night as a lowly human baby born in a manger- we also want to scream “no” and turn our backs on this intense scene of overwhelming undeserved love. We want to close the door on that stable because the beauty of Christ’s love stings and satisfies all at the same time. We can’t stand under the weight of it without feeling unworthy and maybe even the nagging question of “why God would love us so much?”
We try to fit God’s love into a standard sized gift box that we can control. But that truly can not be done.
Overwhelmed.
Undeserved.
What a gift. The greatest gift of all times and it is for me and for you! We did nothing, and I mean nothing, to deserve it. All we did was accept the gift for what it was- Jesus, son of God- our Redeemer and forever King. All we had to do was unwrap it and place it in a position of honor in our lives. All we have to do is lay down our sense of pride and independence and open our hearts to allow the lavish love of our Father to fill us!
This is what we need to do this Christmas. Open the eyes of our heart Father so that we can make room in our lives for your gift! May we live each day honoring Jesus- loving as He showed us how to love!
I wish I had graciously accepted the Christmas gifts from Jody’s folks. It would have given them great joy. I could have convinced them days later that we did not have room for them and in time many lovely donations could have been made 😂! Too bad we don’t pedal backwards through life- we would make far fewer mistakes!
LAVISHLY LOVE OTHERS
Jody and I vowed years ago to lavishly love others in response to the Father’s love everyday, but especially on Christmas Day. We are over the top gift givers, elaborate celebrators, ridiculous decorators as we try to glorify Jesus and leave a God sized mark on those around us.
Make this same vow to each other, your family and your community this year. The best gift we can give each Christmas is a little bit of what God has lavished on us, LOVE. Sweet love that started as an innocent babe on that starry Christmas night so long ago!
Be generous.
Be overwhelming.
Merry Christmas, dearest friends & readers!
“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.”
1 John 3:1 NIV
