Standing Firm Against Identity Theft
Consider the phrase, “Who You Are Effects Who You Are.”
This is a phrase you would expect to hear out of Yoda as he counsels a Jedi, right? Nevertheless, the statement is true. Who we think we are affects our behavior. Our identity is important. Everyone wants to know who they are, where they come from and who their people are.
Over the holidays, Jody, my husband, and I decided to put science to the test and discover our heritage. We purchased DNA tests, spit into little tubes, mailed them off, and anxiously awaited the results. My husband is into genealogy. He can trace his people back to Revolutionary War, while my family history has always been a smidge murky. 😊
I grew up thinking my family was French, since this was the language of the Cajun side of my family tree. My Dad was born and raised in Southern Louisiana and didn’t learn English until he started grade school. My grandparents spoke French in their home. They raised 13 children, who later gave them 54 grandchildren. So, for 50+ years I identified myself as French Cajun.
When Jody and I got back our DNA results back, I was shocked and, quite literally, disappointed – I learned that I am only 4% French. Qu’est-ce que? Translation: “Say what?” I took 3 years of High School French and 2 years of French in College. What a huge waste of my time. I want those years, and my gray cells, back! I could say that I need to erase the French from my memory banks, but time has almost completed that task for me … for free! LOL 😊!
I grew up believing that my French ancestry was strong and that it had shaped who I am. I am my parent’s only dark-haired, brown-eyed child. I am the French one!And because I wanted to embrace my French ancestry, in High School, long before the play/movie were made, I read Victor Hugo’s novel Les Miserables … “en francais!” It took me, and a French-English dictionary,over a year!
Over the years, I have taken offense at any and all jokes about French rudeness – there has been plenty.😊 I have pulled for France in the World Cup. And, I was sure I was French because of my love affair with good cheese! Actually, I love ALL cheeses! I must be more than just 4% French! That test must be wrong!
My world was rocked; I had a small identity crisis. Ugh!
How does a person from Norway, Italy, the Baltics, Eastern Europe, Russia, the Yucatan, France, Sweden,and Germanic Europe act? I can’t imagine. Double Ugh!
A question began to echo in my head, “So, who am I?”
I am the wife of Jody, mother of my six amazing adult children and “sweet mama” to six of the best grandchildren ever. I am a daughter, a sister, a doting aunt, a friend, a discipler, a marriage mentor, a blogger,and a Bible teacher. I am a Speech-Language Pathologist, a cook, a wannabe world traveler, an amateur gardener, a cyclist, an avid swimmer, and a frustrated stand-up comic. I am a celebrator – consider the 12 Christmas trees I put up every year 😊. I am also an “8 (a Challenger),” on the Enneagram scale, an ENFJ on the Myers Briggs survey, and an Influencer on the DISC assessment. I am all these things; French was just one of my distinguishers.
So after the initial shock of learning that I was not really French, God reminded me that my DNA results have not changed anything about me! My DNA is not fundamental to my identity! To the contrary, my identity is in Christ! I can answer my own question: “Who am I?” I am a child of God!
In today’s blog I’d like to spend some time reminding myself, and you, my sweet reader, who we truly are. So, I want to share with you “my identity” verses. I have been compiling it for decades. I’m sure that it is not comprehensive, but it is a good start.
Bon Appetit!
• I am a Child of God (John 1:12, 1 John 3: 1-2).
• I am one with Christ (1 Corinthians 6:17, Galatians 3:26-27).
• I am a joint heir with Jesus Christ (Romans 8:17, Ephesians 2:6).
• I am chosen by God (1 Peter 2:9).
• I am adopted (Ephesians 1:5).
• I am a friend of Jesus (John 15:15).
• I am created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27).
• I am saved (Ephesians 2:5, 2 Timothy 1:9).
• God lavishly loves me (1 John 3:1).
• I am more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37).
• I’m a part of the Body of Christ and the Family of God (1 Corinthians 12:27, Ephesians 2:19).
• I am hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3).
• God provides for me (Psalms 50:9-11, Philippians 4:19, Luke 12:24).
• I am God’s plan, not a mistake (Jeremiah 1:5).
• My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
• I am holy through Christ (Romans 5:1).
• I am clothed in righteousness (Isaiah 61:10).
• I am His workmanship (Ephesians 2:10).
• I am redeemed (Ephesians 1:7, Galatians 3:13, Colossians 1:13-14).
• I am in a covenant with God through Christ(Hebrews 9:15).
Identity is important because it defines the vantage point from which you view your life and how you fit in it. It is the catalyst to our reactions. It also affects how we build and maintain relationships. So most of the problems that people face in their walk with Christ have to do with their misunderstanding of who they are in Christ and with their misunderstanding of God and His character. Knowing, or not knowing, your identity in Christ will definitely impact you, your marriage and your family life.
If you have ever or are now wondering about your Gospel identity, take a few moments to consider the two following marriage issues:
FEELING UNWORTHY AND/ OR UNLOVABLE.God designed and made you (Ephesians 2:10, 1 John 3:1)
If you are over dependent on your spouse, feel that you need your spouse to complete you or feel that you need your spouse to make you feel important or loved, you will also find that you are either self-critical or critical of your unsuspecting spouse. No man or woman can fill a God-sized hole. For every Believer, approval is already there in the Word of God. God doesn’t mince words. He clearly affirms us by calling us “His,” “Loved” and “Beloved.” Only when we truly understand that by accepting Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross we become chosen by God and purchased by the blood of Jesus do we truly understand our Gospel identity. Only then, when we settle into His family, doall other affirmations pale. And when we understand what God thinks about us, we are better able to appreciate what our spouse says about us too.
Please don’t misunderstand me, we still need to be encouraged by our spouses. But when I hear desperation in a person’s voice when he or she describes their need for their spouse’s verbal affirmation (Love Language), I am often prompted to investigate that person’s understanding of their loving Heavenly Father. I have to ask that person how much time they spend resting in the Words of the Father or fellowshipping with Him in prayer and praise.
One of my “super powers” is that I always assume everyone loves me. It might be conceit, but I don’t think so. I know I am “unapologetically extra,” but this has nothing to do with what I feel about who I am to God. I know that God loves me. I have known it for over five decades. You can’t change my mind on this issue. Every year of my life my understanding of that grows. Because of this certainty and because of my time in His Word, my emotional tank is always full and I can much easier hear words from my friends and husband. Because my emotional tank is NOT empty, words from my friends and husband don’t bounce out and make a large splat on the wall. Instead, they stick in my heart. I don’t demand kind words, but I can hear them and believe them, because they sound familiar to my soul. They are like the words that God says to me, His Beloved Daughter, when He whispers His love for me in the Psalms.
My husband teases me about this super power, especially when we are in the car. I am an aggressive driver. Safe, but definitely speedy! Periodically, someone will take offense and wave their middle finger at me. I wave back with all five of mine and say, “You don’t know me, but I promise that if you did, you’d love me. Toodles!” Confidence, yes. Arrogance, maybe. But I pray not. Silly, for sure! Assurance in who I am in Christ, definitely!
When you truly know that God loves you, deep down in the depths of your soul, all else is gravy. You can assume the best about the people who paths you cross,and the lanes that you may inadvertently cut off! 😊
SIDEBAR: What if this was not a silly idiosyncrasy of mine and instead the way God designed ALL of us to respond. It would make loving one another a whole lot easier, huh?
WORRYING ABOUT FINANCES AND SECURITY. God provides for you (Psalms 50:9-11, Philippians 4:19, Luke 12:24)
With our mentoring of couples over the past few years, Jody and I have noticed some trends. These are not shocking revelations. Most authors on marriage discuss these issues frequently. Most conflicts in marriage center around these three issues: the raising and busyness of caring for children; sex, pornography and infidelity; money and budgeting, or the lack thereof, to be precise. Often, couples who wrestle most with finances have adopted an American theology. They have forgotten that their Heavenly Father has riches beyond measure and cattle on a thousand hills. They have calculated a theology that includes God + their 401k. There is nothing wrong with saving money, but if your faith is in the stock market only, you have a problem. You are standing on very shaky ground. An unexpected expenditure, car repair, or down-turn in the stock market can cause stress … and this stress will show up in your marriage. If you identify with fears and worries about your finances instead of with peace and rest, it’s time to remind yourself of God’s provision. I do NOT mean in the context of a “get rich quick” scheme, like the prosperity message, but rather in the truth that our Father loves us and sustains us in every way. (Matthew 6:26)
The other day, Joe, my five-year-old grandson was troubled. He approached me and asked if we could sit down and have a serious talk. I said, “Sure.” After finding a quiet step to sit down on I asked him what was troubling him. In short, he was worried about money. He was afraid that he didn’t have enough and this thought scared him. Without chuckling, though I wanted to, I lovingly reassured him that God had more than enough of everything he needed, and that Papa and I had plenty too. I further explained that since we are family, we share everything that we have. “My money is your money,” I stated. He smiled and replied, “All of it?” “I like it sweet mama, and it’s kinda what I thought. That’s why I knew I could ask you.” His mood then perked up and he continued, “By the way I like your money and all, but you can keep your cars. I don’t need them. I can’t drive remember?” 😊 Crisis averted.
I love the simple faith of my grandchildren. Joe knows that he is a member of our family. And more important, I pray that one day he accepts his role in God’s family too. This is exactly how every child of God should respond to financial difficulties or worry if they understand who they are. We should take our need to God in prayer and rest in His provision. God cares about us. And each and every time, He is the answer!
If given the choice between my Gospel identity and any other, every time I’ll take the sure foundation with Jesus Christ as my Lord. Guard your hearts and treasure your identity in Him. Read the above verses. Memorize a few. I have a key ring holding small index cards- each verse written out so I can review them often! They are truths that make me “who I am!”
Yes, I’m still a wee bit French, so I am going to make French toast and French fries. But now I have a bona fide “out clause” for eating escargot … I AM NOT THAT FRENCH; NO MORE SNAILS FOR ME! 😊
Stay washed in the Word my readers!
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is,
seated at the right hand of God.
Set your minds on things above, not on the earthly things.
For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
Colossians 3:1-3
