Daily Habits of a Life Filled to the Brim
The other day, I was speaking to a younger sister in Christ and she made a curious statement. She was not trying to offend me, but her words struck a chord. She stated “I wish I had known you years ago, when you were my age.” I confirmed that I would have enjoyed our friendship back then too and asked her why she wanted to travel back in time to the ‘80’s. 😊 I laughed and quipped “are you desirous of big hair and bangled jewelry?”
She smiled but would not be side tracked; she continued on with a serious look on her face. She pointed out that sometimes she couldn’t relate to “the way I live my life.” My ideas were not even a potential reality for her, she feared. She admired me and knew I was speaking “truth” but she couldn’t imagine a time when she would see God working that way in her life. She wanted more but in her present circumstance the idea of seeking God more or allowing Him to use her were “so far from reality” that she had no reference point to connect our lives. She hoped in my younger years I was more like her, struggling and a “hot mess.”
My reply was I wish I had blogged back then (although there was no internet, so it would have been a tad hard! 😂) so she could see the similarities in our struggles and realize that what she saw in me was the tireless work of the Holy Spirit. I wanted her to be encouraged for God is not unfair. I then vowed to try to remember back to those days long ago and answer her question from my 20 something vantage point. Today’s post is dedicated to this task and to my questioning sister.
Hang on as we journey back to the 80’s😊.
BACKGROUND INFORMATION
My young friend is the mother of two boys. She and her husband attend church weekly and are involved in a Missional Community during the week. She complains that her life is filled with “musts” with no room for extras and spending time in Bible Study and prayer doesn’t usually make her “must do list.” She cannot imagine reaching out and discipling younger sisters or new Believers. When I have stated I desire these things for her walk with Christ, with the goal of being a disciple who makes disciples, she looked at me as if I have 3 heads. I don’t believe she is alone. This is a question I hear often:
How do I grow in my faith and obedience while doing my life?
So here it goes. Imagine me with a fresh perm- I have always loved big hair. Handmade earrings, big and in bold colors and high waisted blue jeans or a squeaky jogging suit, sitting at a typewriter or writing in long hand the following answer to her basic question of how do I make time for God in the stage of my life that is packed with good things and nothing can be eliminated?
As I look back at my younger days, with a husband and three small children I feel a sharp and familiar pang in my heart. I remember at the end of some very tiring days lying in bed thankful that my husband was in the field, so I could sleep without interruptions, if you catch my not so subtle drift.
As I laid in bed, I’d think - hallelujah! All three of my children were alive and would live another day-woohoo! We had survived. Not thrived, maybe, but at least we were all still breathing. I would then quickly thank God for my exhausting little family and fall asleep mid prayer.
BEYOND SURVIVAL MODE
After months of just surviving, you start to realize something has got to give. You can’t go on at this pace. Surviving is no way to live. Now, granted there are brief seasons that can be merely survived without permanent harm. For example, the first few months after having a newborn is one of those sleep deprived times, where surviving is to be applauded. But when you are the parent of multiples, like my questioning sister and I, you have to figure out a way for more. You cannot be satisfied with the bar set that low. Days drag on and your thoughts are filled with dreams of tomorrow -grown children who can toilet independently, dress themselves and buckle their own seat belts. But in doing all this dreaming, we are guilty of totally ignoring the wishes of our heavenly Father for today. And His desire is for you. He desires fellowship with you, even if you have Cheerios stuck in your hair and you haven’t brushed your teeth. His love is pure and accepting.
This never ending, exhausting “do loop” is the reason my sister asked this question. And as much as I would like to say “bless your heart, tie a knot and hang on” I can’t. I know there is more to life. It would be unkind of me to allow her to think that her present reality is as good as it gets.
I know God has more for her.
I know she can figure out a way to do the things that have eternal importance and that those Godly endeavors will bring about life sustaining rewards! I know this from first hand experience. So let me slide back behind my typewriter again and tell her a bit more of my struggle and my story.
MY STORY
I became a Christian when I was a small child. I have always loved God’s word. I grew up in a wonderful household where God was well loved and His words were cherished. My faith continued to grow and by the time I was in college I read the Word on a daily and prayed, well mostly for good test scores, but I prayed. Life was easy.
It wasn’t until marriage that I hit my first real hard bump. Jody, my husband and I were married and both working. We were broke but happy; we had a great first year of marriage. My husband was in the Army and was learning how to fly helicopters. It was during peace time and everything was clicking along. We moved to Colorado Springs and we had our first true life surprise.
Although I continued to love God in Colorado, my faith had become anemic. I had in the busyness of life, and in my own success allowed myself to feel like I was doing okay and that being independent was the right next step. I developed some bad habits. I had forgotten the importance of fellowshipping with the Father and our church attendance was spotty at best. During this lull in my faith, God gave us two children, a short eleven months apart. Our oldest son had medical issues and after the birth of our Irish Twin daughter, I chose to stay at home for a few years, putting us in a financial strain. (See The Ugly Year) At this point, we hit rock bottom. We argued continuously or ignored each other completely. I realized something had to change or I wouldn’t survive. I was a hot mess. I clung to Jesus, dove into His Word, prayer, community and God was good to His Word to meet me where I was.
Over the next few years God healed my marriage, restored my joy and showed me mercy upon mercy, even while I ran circles chasing my children.
HOW DID I FIND TIME FOR GOD IN THE CRAZY?
Accessibility: My desire was for God and His Word. I began reading the Bible, whenever I had a free hand. I needed His Word to be accessible. I strategically placed a Bible in my bathroom, one by my bed and one on the floor next to the rocking chair in the nursery. I began posting verses that spoke to the hurts in my heart around the house. I had verses posted on kitchen cabinet doors, the fridge and on the bathroom mirror. I even put verses next to the changing table and on the inside of the cleaning supply cabinet about spiritual cleansing. Also, I kept verses reminding me of my gospel identity in the cupholders between the two front seats in my car, so when I was in stand still traffic, with all three kids in car seats in a neat little row, I would flip through them and encourage my spirit. “I am a child of God.” “I am chosen.” “I am redeemed.”
I did not allow myself to be judged by anyone, especially not by me! 😊I did not time or monitor my quiet moments with God. If some days allowed only minutes, I didn’t fret. Early in this awakening, I had two babies and a third child was on the way, so I couldn’t wake up early. I had to sleep, or I would surely die, but I desired time with God.
Those things that we truly desire, we will always have time for.
Made new Spiritual Habits: I began the habit of praying in the car. Every time I drove to the store to buy more diapers or to a friend’s house for a play date, I would pray, often out loud. “Lord, help these children keep their hands to themselves and stop fighting so Mommy can concentrate and drive!” 😊 No, I prayed this sometimes, but I also just prayed whatever was on my heart. I still to this day begin a prayer each time I turn on my car. It’s a habit. Jody and I do it together every time we get in the car to go somewhere too. It stuck.
Side bar: I also do kegels (pelvic floor exercise) at STOP signs, but that is probably too much information, but, hey, it’s a good habit, nonetheless.
I wish I could say I began being systematic with my prayers like I am now, with index cards and prayer journal, but I didn’t stumble upon this strategy until my kids were teenagers.
Attend Church Regularly: Jody and I both recognized our need for fellowship with the body of Christ. We began with diligence to attend church. We prayed for and found Godly friends. Each time we moved which the military did with regularity, we would seek God on ways we could connect with the local body. It is hard to do, and intimidating to visit new churches- but worth the effort.
I Looked for Salty People to Hang Out with. Make sure your friend group includes a few sisters who have loved God longer than you or who are extra salty. They will make you desire more of the Word and will challenge you each time you are together naturally.
I Gave Myself Grace. As God began to heal my heart and remind me of who I was in Him, I allowed Him to use me. I didn’t wait until I had arrived, so to speak, but instead used whatever I had for His kingdom. I am reminded of the story in Acts 18 of Apollos who was busy preaching the truths that had been revealed to him. He didn’t understand the gospel fully and God brought Aquilla and Priscilla to teach/correct him. Apollos could have waited, until he “knew more” but when you have been overwhelmed by the love of the Father, you must share. You can’t wait to share. As I understood a truth from Scripture I shared it with my neighbor, girlfriend or the man who bagged my groceries. I allowed my broken self to have the grace necessary from God to be used. And God did. He used me, broken and all. And because of this, my faith grew! (Romans 10:17)
I Allowed God to use any available bits of time that I had each day. With three small children it would have been easy to say, “I’m too busy to be of any use for God during this season,” but I didn’t. I strategically planned naptimes or quiet times for my oldest son who hated naps and I would disciple a sister or two a week who were new believers or hurting. The sessions lasted as long as the children’s nap allowed. If everyone woke up after 45 minutes, session was over and most of the time I had a sister help me with the littles until she needed to leave. I left a naptime or two just for me- for cleaning, cooking and sometimes, a well-deserved nap!
If truth be known, I grew more during those times than the sisters I mentored/discipled. When God allows you to be the conduit to His hurting children the rewards are staggering- peace, love and joy to name a few.
We opened our home. We lived in some pretty tiny and shabby places, to put it positively. But we allowed our home to be a place where people felt comfortable to hang out. Given my three children and the mountain of toys we had collected, we sacrificed a bedroom and set up a play room and allowed kids to share a bedroom. This gave us the necessary space to host other couples with small children.
As Jody and I grew we felt led to lead a weekly Bible Study in our home. It was often a mad zoo of children bouncing off the walls, running in and out of the playroom while adults were trying to read God’s Word and grow together. I remember one night when our daughter got sick during Bible study and vomited then 2 other children did as well, reflexively. 🤢 As Mommies dashed to comfort upset children and clean them up, I noticed Jody and another young dad out of the corner of my eye, whip out my vacuum cleaner to help clean up the throw up. I screamed “no” but it was too late. Yucky, yucky, yucky! Definitely a new vacuum cleaner for the Creekmores! We laugh about it today, but it was a great life lesson. Life is messy, doesn’t have to be perfect- but it must be shared. God made us for community.
We didn’t know more than anybody else who attended the Bible Study, but God was faithful and showed up each and every week. I wouldn’t take a million dollars for those tough years. I learned much about my Heavenly Father’s love, forgiveness, accountability and the importance of community. My marriage was strengthened and my faith grew by leaps and bounds. I count the tough years, as pure joy. (James 1:2-3)
HABITS ARE HARD TO BREAK: Please make sure you are being intentional in the habits you are forming right now. Allow yourself a judgement free zone for days that don’t go well. But be creative in adding in the good stuff to your day.
So, sweet reader, please know that when I encourage my younger sisters to not neglect their time in God’s Word, their fellowship in prayer with the Father, or pursuing ways to serve the body, it is not because I want to add more to their plate. Instead, my words come out of a desire to see their lives be filled with the fruits of the spirit that flow from a well lived life.
Keep reading and stayed washed in the Word.
“Romans 10:14–15
“How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!’””
