Making Peace with the In-Laws
I feel this is a valuable and timely topic as we approach the holidays. Why? It is a rare day that I meet a young married couple who feel like they had the in-law’s blessing from the beginning of their courtship. Often, and when exploring this further, one or both get very emotional. Everyone wants to be known and loved by those in their family. It is important deep down in our being.
BACK TO THE FUTURE: Marriage Advice
I am feeling very nostalgic, probably because it is the season. It is the time of the year that we look back and give thanks for all that God has done in our lives. And this is exactly what I have found myself doing. I've been looking at old pictures of Jody and I, our life together, our three beautiful children, and past holidays spent with family and friends. My conclusion is that God has richly blessed my family! I know this from my 2017 vantage point, but I didn't always know this to be true. I wish there was a way I could go back and encourage my younger self in the faith!
Thank you, Lord!
That song was a perfect prelude to my parent's testimony about their own trials and pursuit of Jesus. At the time I sang this sweet song, I had not yet walked through any great trials – I was a child. But the words of that song became buried deep in my heart where they would help prepare me for my own journey. These words are echoed from Romans 3: 3-5: "Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."
Precious Lil' Idols
It was Christmas Eve 2013. I was busy in the kitchen chopping the salad, mixing fondue seasonings and fretting over each detail of our traditional fondue meal when my daughter, Maddy, called me into the living room. She had a surprise gift for me. I saw the size of the package and immediately knew what it was – telescoping fondue forks. I had seen them at the store the previous week. Sweet, but not tradition. I considered that Jody, her dad and keeper of all traditions, would not be happy with the change. Nevertheless, I put on my brave face and opened the gift. But as soon as I began to unwrap it, I realized that I was wrong. This was not trendy fondue forks. Instead, I found a picture of a POSITIVE pregnancy test!
Blessed Be the Tie That Binds
I’m not sure my mother-in-law knew what she was starting, but her Christmas Eve fondue tradition has done exactly what a holiday tradition should do! Good traditions should bind your family together so that you can celebrate the true meaning of the holiday.
Communication is the Key!
I'm good at my job. So by all accounts, I am a communication specialist. So I'm sure it came as a big surprise to my sweet husband that when we first married, I was really bad at communicating with him. Considering this early time in our marriage, you could compare Jody’s situation with someone who had just married a graduate from the Culinary Institute of America only to find out their new spouse couldn’t cook at home – their spouse could make delicious meals for strangers, but could hardly boil water in their own kitchen. You would want your money back, right?!
A little more... Holy Moly!
Sex is God's idea. He put the desire for sex into our hearts, into our minds and into our bodies. God's plan is beautiful and without sin. Man, however, changed God’s plan in the garden when Adam and Eve first desired to be equal to God, sinned and realized that they were naked. From that point, the perverseness of this first sin continued, and still continues to grow.
Holy Moly!
God’s plan is for husbands and wives to meet the deep need for sexual fulfillment that lives inside each of us through the beauty and safety of sex in marriage.
Here are a few ideas that may help you get things headed in the right direction. I hope that you find a few that resonate in your marriage, and that you have the courage to try them. Keep reading friend!
Repent and Forgive
We must lay aside our pride, acknowledge our hurt and let our spouse know when our feelings have been injured. I can’t stress how important the act of humbling yourself is to the health of your marriage! This will take a soul-bearing conversation where you may have to admit to your spouse that you are not as secure as you’d like to think you are or that you portray. It will require you to be vulnerable.
Love, the Language the Heart Speaks
Learning to understand and then speak your spouse’s love language is a worthy endeavor. If you learn to speak the language of your spouse's heart fluently, your marriage will be benefited.
Love and Respect
God knew that inside each man and woman there would live a struggle. This struggle would revolve around issues inside a man’s heart and in a women’s mind. God knew men would have little difficulty loving themselves and that women would desire to rule over their husband. I do not for a minute believe that either struggle was shocking to God. He created Adam and Eve and fellowshipped with them as they lived in the Garden of Eden.
Love is a Verb!
Love starts with a perfect, well-timed kiss, but is sustained through purposefully loving your spouse!
Marriage is like a FOOTBALL game....
Marriage is like a football game- if you don’t believe me, keep reading!
Got My Bags Packed!
Now, I love a spontaneous adventure as much as the next girl, but I don't want the entirety of my life to be such. Jody and I do and have discussed the plans for almost everything. Early on, we discussed what concepts did we wanted our children to embrace during their childhood and what holiday traditions did we want to incorporate into our family in order to bring a sense of family unity and a dependence on God. Later, we discussed what joint physical fitness goals we wanted and what financial security goals we believed we needed, and we discussed how each would contribute to meet this accomplishment.