Love One Another❣️
A Loving Marriage
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
that he might sanctify her,
having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
so that he might present the church to himself in splendor,
without spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
that she might be holy and without blemish (Ephesians 5:25-27 ESV).”
Over the next several weeks, I will unpack these verses that Paul penned to the church in Ephesus about marriage and Jesus and his bride, the church. They are often quoted. Sometimes even misquoted. I pray I have listened to the Holy Spirit and get the text right in this post! My desire is to encourage you and your spouse to pursue Christ in the context of your marriage. So,hand your hubby your phone and read together the following post. Wives, just because the verse calls out your husband’s role in big bold print doesn’t mean you are off scot-free. Keep reading as we discover beautifully described both roles of a gospel-centered marriage.
Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37-39 NIV).”
LOVE EACH OTHER
Jody and I have two mantras that govern our family life:“Creekmores never quit” and “love each other.” We said them both often. The first mantra was said to encourage our children’s resolve to tackle the tough aspects of life and to not give up. The second one was to make our obedience to God foundational in our home.
As I parented our three young children, I repeated “love each other” at least 30 times each day; if I said it once! When the kids were bickering, I would remind both the offending and offended sibling of God’s command to love each other. When they would fight over a toy and not want to share I would encourage them with the mandate to love and discuss loves sacrificial nature. As they grew up I said “love each other” every time they would leave the house together, particularly when they would be without parental supervision. It was important to me that they behave in a becoming fashion. I now find myself saying it to my grandchildren during their rambunctious play and to just about everybody else I spend time with who confide in me about a dispute in their marriage or family.
Jesus sacrificed everything for His bride, us, His church. He denied us nothing. He looked at our undeserving faces and was moved with compassion and love. He then laid down His life for us. He did all this so that one day we could stand in God’s presence and not be consumed by the flames of His judgement. When we stand in front of the throne of grace (Hebrews 4:16), made clean by the blood of Jesus, God can fellowship with us … through Jesus’s love … for eternity. Such amazingly good news!
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God(1 John 4:7).”
Love one another.
It’s Biblically correct.
It is a command to all Believers, marrieds and singles.
It’s simple, and completely exhausting all at the same time.
To love is to sacrifice.
THE WORLD SEES LOVE AS A NOUN
Love is a verb, not a noun (LOVE IS A VERB). It is all about action and putting legs to your words. When I encouraged my children to love each other, I didn’t anticipate any superficial sentimentality, like the purchase of a sappy greeting card or for them to buy flowers for each other. No, I envisioned, and if I’m actually transparent, demanded, a change in their behavior. I wanted their actions to match the feelings I knew they had in their heart for one another. I required a sacrifice from them in the form of letting go of their favorite toy. Why? So that the resolution of their dispute would center on their dying to their desire to be right. Jody and I said this often, not just because we wanted peace in our home, which we did, but also, because we wanted our children to learn how to love like God loves. We hoped that they would see this kind of love in our marriage. We hoped that they would feel the active nature of love in our diligent care for them.
The devil always tries to distort the things of God; he does not “take a pass” on love. Sometime in the 1960’s the word “love” stopped being a verb or an action of choice and instead was transformed, or reduced, to a noun. It became something that could be found or lost. This changed the meaning of love from a bedrock action to a fleeting fancy. This new definition of love has rocked the family structure – divorce rates began skyrocketing in the 60’s and steadily climbed through the 70’s to where they are today. So, since God does not command feelings but instead commands us to love, we know that the true definition of the word love must be an action word. The world’s change in the definition of love was subtle and probably went unnoticed by many; until love was too far gone. The world wanted to distort God’s command from its heart motive … humble obedience … to the emotion of “like.” Consider for just a moment how scripture would change if we were to replace God’s definition of love with the “like.” For some of you, this is not hard to imagine because you have lived this – you have experienced your parents reporting that they fell out of “like” with each other; your childhood home was forever splintered. If the new definition of love has crept into your heart, speak truth to it! Remember- God is love and His love endures forever (Psalms 136)! We must emulate God’s love and recognize that our unloving words and deeds point to unredeemed parts of our hearts. God would not command us to love each other if this was an impossible task.
“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love (1 John 4:8).”
LOVE LIKE CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH
As soon as Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, mankind became separated from God; who is completely pure and holy and cannot associate with sin. God knew He had to make a way for mankind to come back into right relationship with Him. So, God, moved by love, intervened to save His broken and sin-stained people. The very people who would disappoint him over and over again. Our kind of people. BUT!!! GOD, knowing us, still loved us so much that He sent His son, Jesus, to earth to become both man and God, to take on our sins and to make “propitiation for the sins of the people (Hebrews 2:17).” This includes your sins and your spouse’s sins. Jesus’s sacrifice covers them all! So, when husbands love their wives in the same manner as Christ (Eph. 5:25-27), it is a game changer.God intends to be a “next level” relationship. His desire is for us to use our marriages for His glory. He wants our love to be so different from the world’s definition of love that we stand out! Not so that we can be the hero, but so that He can be the hero!
LOVE IN MARRIAGE
“My command is this; Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:12-13).”
How do husbands love their wives in the way depicted in this verse? Simple. Each and every day and in every way a husband is to die to self. That is what Christ did for each of us. If we only look at this command through our human eyes, it is an overwhelming thought. But be encouraged, my brothers. God did give you a large mantle to carry. BUT, God also gave you broad shoulders, physically and spiritually, to accomplish His task. Husbands, it may seem easier to ignore John 15 and never read Chapter 5 of the letter to the Ephesians. I get it. But if you do this, you rob God of His glory in both your marriage and in your family. And by default, you make your life a tough one to navigate. God will never give us a task that He is not faithful to equip us for! He knows that your desire is to please yourself and to live for your own interests. So, He left and returned to the right hand of the Father so that the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, could dwell among us. When we heed the Holy Spirit, He will point out the areas in our lives that need to be more loving. When a God-honoring husband errors in choosing to please himself rather than loving his wife, the Spirit will softly tap him on his shoulder and get his attention. It is through His strength, and only in His strength, that a husband can be more like Jesus to his wife and family. This is not a new item to add to your “to do” list but rather a change in trajectory for your very life! Cling to His presence and stand back and watch how true love, Christ-like love, changes your marriage and the very climate of your home. All this starts with your first of many prayers for obedience and surrender of your own will and desires.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Give me your heart for my wife and my family.
Show me each and every day how to better love and serve them.
Allow the aroma of your love to fill our home and attract others to you.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
A Word to the Wife
As your husband walks out this verse, know that he will make mistakes. He is human; just like you. Be kind and open to his love. Tear down the “protection” walls you have placed around your heart and allow your husband access. Forgive his shortcomings and continue to repent your own. Your first step is to accept the love your husband offers you. And, as your home fills with God’s presence, you will become more aware of your own sin and in turn draw nearer to God. All the rest … joy, intimacy, friendship … will follow. When Jody loves me like Christ I am irresistibly drawn to him. And the more I allow him to serve me the more I want to honor him in return!
Thank you for reading the Word Washed Wife blog. Next week we will take a deep dive into sanctification and spiritual accountability. Stay washed in the Word and in each other’s embrace.
“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised.”
The Song of Solomon 8:6-7 ESV
